Pleasure too often gets left out of the conversation in sex and consent education. However, pleasure should be at the root of our sexual interactions (whether that’s with other people or ourselves)!
MASTURBATION
An excellent way to discover and experiment with your own pleasure is through masturbation! Masturbation is anything that a person does to give themselves pleasure. It doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be alone, you have to orgasm, or that you can only use your hands!
It is important to recognize that people of all genders, sexual orientation, and abilities can masturbate. Our society often stigmatizes masturbation for people with vaginas and desexualizes disabled people. It is important to interrupt these narratives and normalize these behaviors as choices for people of all identities and abilities.
Masturbation is perfectly normal, natural, and even good for you! It can produce positive health benefits, relieve stress, and allow you to become more familiar with your body and the unique ways you may receive pleasure. People may choose to masturbate – or not to masturbate – for a wide variety of reasons, and each person’s decision is unique and valid.
There are a lot of different ways to masturbate, including but not limited to: sex toys, using your own hands, and mutual masturbation. Sex toys can be a great way to experiment with how you like to receive pleasure, as there are hundreds of different toys designed for all different kinds of experiences!
SEX TOYS
Sex toys are super diverse, creative, and fun! Whether you engage in practices involving sex toys, and if so, what kind, is completely up to you!
Be mindful of materials! Due to a lack of regulation, cheaper or “novelty” toys could contain chemicals. Always do your research and be mindful of what you’re putting in/on your body
Always disinfect your toys because they can harbor bacteria
↝ Use a mild soap
↝ For leather, wipe with alcohol
↝ For porous toys that can’t be disinfected (i.e. of jelly rubber/hard plastic), use a condom
↝ For non-motorized, metal, silicone and pyrex toys, boil
↝ Don’t submerge toys unless they’re water proof
↝ Sharing: **always** disinfect toys between each user to prevent STIs
**SHAPE gives out sex toys at our G-Spot table in Norris!
LUBE
Why lube? Feels better, less pain/tears, Less friction, Great with sex toys
Types of lube
↝ Water-based
↝ Silicone-based
↝ Oil-based
↝ Hybrid: Water and Silicone
Brands of lube
↝ Sutil – Newer
↝ Slippery Stuff – Highly recommended, CARE has it
↝ Sliquid H2O, Sliquid Sea – Water based
↝ Sliquid Sassy – For anal
↝ Sliquid Silk – Hybrid
↝ Über lube
**Lube available on the 3rd floor of SEARLE!
PORN
Porn can be a great tool for exploring desires alone or with partner(s). Porn is perfectly normal and natural; there is nothing wrong with consuming it. But just like other things, in excess it can become a problem.
However, to properly and ethically consume or view pornography requires a critical understanding of the problems and issues within it. Because communication, verbal consent and safe-sex practices are often left out of porn (but may occur behind-the-scenes), it can often create unrealistic expectations of what actual sex may look like. Mainstream pornography also tends to be filmed from a male perspective and ignores female/female-identifying pleasure, creating real-life pleasure imbalances in sexual interactions.
Because porn is mass produced, and widely distributed with little regulation and policing on popular sites, it is imperative to always seek out porn that is legal, ethical, and consensual. We recommend trying to pay for porn, or if that is not feasible, doing research on the companies and/or porn stars featured on free porn websites.
KINKS, FETISHES + BDSM
A kink is anything that falls under the realm of a non-traditional desire, fantasy or practice (note: the word “non-traditional” is used here to define kink. However, the language “traditional” comes from a long and harmful history of defining sex as strictly cis-gender, heterosexual and procreative).
A fetish is a sexual fixation of an act, object or body part.
BDSM is an umbrella term that can encompass: bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadism and masochism. Because BDSM relies on complex power dynamics, consent is hugely important. While one person may be in “control” over another, the reality is that both parties have consented to a dominant and submissive dynamic and communicated these expectations and desires beforehand. At no point is the submissive actually relinquishing complete control. They relinquish control within a context of their choosing, which is why prior communication, safe words and trust is a critical factor within safe and consensual BDSM practices.
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